I recently picked up The Rebuilders: Going from Setback to Comeback in Business and Beyond (affiliate link). I chose it because I’m at a crossroads with my business—just like many others navigating life after the pandemic. I tried everything: hiring an expensive marketing agency, redesigning my website, investing in professional videos, and running ads. Nothing worked. Then, I dove into LinkedIn courses. While one high-ticket course gave me community and feedback, my business still isn’t where I hoped it would be.
But what surprised me most? This book isn’t just helping me navigate business—it’s helping me reframe my experience of moving forward after IVF failure and accepting a life without children, too.
Reframing the Setback After IVF Failure.
The first chapter, “Reframing Your Setback,” hit home. It opens with a powerful quote from Ruth Bader Ginsburg:
“So often, things that you regard as an impediment in life turn out to be a great good fortune.”
As a lawyer, this immediately grabbed my attention. I started asking myself: Could not having children be a “great good fortune”? Right now, it feels like anything but. I’m still in that uncertain, in-between stage—figuring out what comes next.
I’ve come to realize that setbacks often carry hidden lessons, even if we can’t see them in the moment. As I explored this, I found resources like Verywell Mind’s guide on coping with disappointmenton helpful. It offers practical strategies for managing the emotions that come with unexpected outcomes—whether in business, personal life, or the journey to parenthood.
Still, I can see glimpses of resilience and unexpected growth. I remember giving myself hormone shots during IVF. I never thought I’d be capable of that. Or the time I traveled to Greece for a donor round, discovering a beautiful city I would never have otherwise visited.
But for now, the big picture remains unclear.
The “Bad, Better, Best” Reflection Tool
This chapter introduced me to a reflection exercise called “Bad, Better, Best.” It asks you to:
- Look back at past setbacks and recognize the good that eventually came from them.
- Apply that lens to your current situation—in my case, accepting a life without children.
- Envision one “good” thing and one “truly wonderful” thing that could come from this experience.
I managed to think of one small, good thing: I won’t be paying for college tuition at 65 or 70. But the “truly wonderful” part? I’m not there yet. And that’s okay.
Finding Meaning in a New Chapter
What’s surprising is how this book—meant to help me rebuild my business—is helping me process giving up on parenthood. I don’t have all the answers, but this chapter has lightened the weight of my thoughts. It’s a small shift, but a meaningful one.
Sometimes, what feels like a setback might actually be a different kind of path forward. If you’re navigating your own moments of disappointment, know that you’re not alone. There are tools, books, and communities that can support you along the way.
I’m looking forward to reading more, exploring this journey, and hopefully discovering the “great good fortune” Ruth Bader Ginsburg spoke of.
