I Am Not a Dog Mom
Let me say it clearly: I am not a dog mom.
I Love My Dogs, But I’m Not Their Mom
Do I adore my dogs? Yes. Do they sleep on my lap every night by the fire while I read half-finished memoirs and binge the Real Housewives? Absolutely. Do I speak to them in full sentences (English and French) and give them ridiculous nicknames like Dodders and ZZ? Without question.
But I am not their mom.
Literal Language, Real Pain
First—if you know me, then you know I can be literal. I didn’t give birth to a dog. And honestly, it’s strange to imply that I did. I didn’t labor through contractions to bring a Dachshund into the world. So, calling myself a “dog mom” feels like a stretch. A funny one, maybe. But a stretch.
More than that, I’ve spent over two decades trying—desperately, painfully—to become a mom. IVF, donor eggs, miscarriage, fostering, failed adoptions. I’ve lived through infertility treatments, loss, and emotional exhaustion. So when someone casually says, “Oh, I’m a dog mom too!”—it stings. Not because they’re trying to hurt me, but because it collapses a brutal journey into a pet adoption. And those are not the same thing.
Words Matter—Especially When You’ve Fought for Them
Dogs are loyal companions. They’re soulmates and daily joys. But they’re not my children. And I am not their parent. The title “mom” is sacred to me. It’s something I fought for. Something I grieved. Something I continue to carry.
To call myself a dog mom feels like a shortcut. A substitute. And I’ve spent too many years reclaiming my identity to accept a watered-down version of it.
I Love Them As Dogs—And That’s Enough
Also—and this might just be my inner rebel talking—I don’t like being folded into a trend. I don’t dress my pets up in sweaters or host birthday parties for them. I don’t sip from mugs that say “fur baby mama.” I love my dogs deeply, but I love them as dogs. They ground me. They make me laugh. They don’t judge me for eating croissants for dinner. They bring joy. And that’s enough.
Childfree Not By Choice, and Still Whole
For someone like me—childfree not by choice—“dog mom” flattens the complexity of my reality. I’m not filling a gap. I’m building something new. My life is not a substitute—it’s mine. It’s full of love, chaos, connection, and two weird little creatures who bark at every dog that passes by our window.
But I’m not a dog mom.
I’m a woman with two dogs and a whole lot of feelings.
